So much to learn, so far to go....

though I know that the whole point is the journey, not where I am (or am not) right now.

Third session of the Ashtanga Foundations series - we opened with Surya Namaskars, then did utkatasana, virabhadrasananas, then to the floor....dandasana, paschimottanasanas, purvottasasanas, ardha baddha padma paschimottanasana. We went through those fairly quickly, then spent more time on trianga muhka. It wasn't too difficult because of bikram's fixed firm, though the paschimottanasana part is difficult.

We did Janu sirsasana...."a" position is hard to get comfortable in. "b" position, most people could not do. I could but it's uncomfortable. Then we did the Marichyasanas....so far my favorite poses. I can easily bind in A, B & C....and with John's help, bound in D.

The woman in front of me couldn't bind at all but SHE doesn't have to lower all the way to the floor in chaturungas like I do. ;-)

We did four navasanas, then bhujapidasana, which I liked...I like balancing challenges...I cannot cross my ankles but once I am better at balancing - and my arms and wrists are stronger, I will be able to. I'm not entirely sure what we did after that because he approached it like it was a given we would not be able to do the poses. We did kurmasana, but not supta kurmasana.

We skipped garbha pindasana, I think, and kukkatasana (it was getting close to five o'clock by this time and we had up to this point been doing vinyasas between postures)...did baddha konasana and upavishta konasana....the rolling back and forth part (which we also did in another earlier posture) is hard, and seems to require more core strength than I have right now...did supta konasana and padangustasana, then chakrasana....when I tried doing this at home I chickened out because I was afraid of hurting my neck, but I did it at the studio this afternoon (though I landed a bit off center)...it's more of a pushing off with the hands/lifting of the hips than a rolling backwards over the head thing which makes it easier. Ubbhaya padangustasana....another of those rolling back and forth ones that was hard....we skipped urdva muhka paschimottanasana and setu bandasana.

Then we tried headstand...the two in there that practice iyengar had no problem....once again, I was chicken...I got my arms in position but couldn't bring myself to kick up...John says they don't use the wall at his studio because then you have to learn all over again to do it without the wall....but I think that the wall would help me at least learn how to kick my legs up. It's the transferring of my weight to my arms and head that is the scary part. John came over and assisted me and I got to headstand twice....it wasn't as scary as I thought to be up there. Or down. Ha.

Then we did backbend...which I could not push up into because my arms were pretty fatigued. Also, I can't decide whether I want to use my yogitoes or not....I had it down for part of the series because my mat feels a little slippery (I think it needs washing, but I don't know how long it will take to dry so I am afraid to wash it since I don't have another mat to use while it dries) but it wasn't sweaty and grippy like it is in Bikram...so my hands did not feel very secure on it when we pushed into backbend. I guess I will have to do a full series practice and see if I need it. Maybe it's more sweaty once we go through the whole series.

I guess my main question is this....what does a beginner do in a led class when the postures get beyond their skill level? It seemed hard enough to maneuver ourselves into postures, much less having to do them on a single inhale in order to keep up with the flow of the class. Obviously, this comes with practice, but is having such a learning curve going to keep me from taking a led class? I really, really like the energy of a class....but I wonder if I should mostly practice at home until I am more confident. I wish I knew someone else who was fairly new to an ashtanga practice, so I could pick their brains....how long does it take to develop arm strength? How long does it take to learn to maintain the flow of the entire series the entire time? How is it being a total beginner in a class setting?

Speaking of being a beginner....I cannot imagine learning this practice without having some prior yoga experience. My bikram practice has served me very well so far...but if I were a total beginner, I think I'd probably be very discouraged.

I am really tired tonight too....we stayed at the party last night until 12:15, and I could have left earlier....it was still going strong when I left but I was super tired. I limited myself to one small glass of wine, but I ate a good many refined carbs. Michael was wide awake and in our bed at 8:15 this morning....he was still awake last night when we got home, so he didn't get enough sleep last night and our day with the boys was pretty painful. Will, bless his heart, had a really hard day and was basically a huge pain in the ass the entire day. Tonight while he screamed and pounded on Michael's door for the ten thousandth time, I said to Lee "do you think it's time for me to spank him?" and I was only half kidding.

I didn't spank him, of course, but I had to just give up on him understanding, at least for tonight, that his screaming/pounding/bugging the shit out of Michael is unacceptable.

Hey....I guess parenting is kind of like yoga....some days you are focused and have an awesome practice....some days you feel like crap and you feel like you have taken ten steps backwards. Today was definitely a ten steps backward day. I'm looking forward to the next "breakthrough" day.