The terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day-and-couple-of-hours

Yesterday afternoon Will kept on bugging me about wanting to watch the Wiggles and I told him if he asked me one more time, the answer would be no. He asked me again, so I said no Wiggles today. He had a tantrum. I told him no Wiggles tomorrow, either. He kicked the kitchen trashcan, hard. I said no Wiggles on Thursday. (This is as much of a punishment for me as it is him, because the Wiggles keep him out of my hair while I'm fixing dinner and cleaning out backpacks). It deteriorated to a shouting match (well, I was shouting, he was screaming). Micahel was in his room doing his homework, but Will kept crashing into his door and making it burst open. I told him if he did it again he was going to lose his drums. He, of course, did it again, so I put his drums on the closet shelf, which prompted another fit.

I had to be at the city school's Central Offices to set up for the 0-5 News awards dinner at 5:30. I had washed this sweater I wanted to wear but it wasn't dry, so I had to find something else to wear. All of my nicer clothes (ie, stuff I rarely wear) is too big and because I rarely wear it, I didn't know it didn't fit. My most decent pair of jeans that I can wear with my boots was dirty so I had to wear another pair that didn't look so good. My hair looked like shit, but I was trying to do something with it at 5:30 when I was supposed to BE THERE. I finally gave up, jumped in the car and zoomed over there, until I got behind someone trying to turn left onto Scott Boulevard, with traffic at a standstill. Finally that idiot went, and I got onto Scott, and it took me ten minutes to travel the two or three blocks to the Central Office.

Setup for the dinner went fine, the dinner itself was fine and pretty fun, the kids were great and the winning media entries were very entertaining. We didn't get home until close to 8:30 and both boys were tired and hence uncooperative. We skipped baths and just got them into bed. At 9:15 I was realizing that laundry was backed up, lunches were not made, Michael's homework folder & contents were scattered throughout his room. I put off the lunches til today, packed up the folder myself, and loaded the washer. I fell asleep reading about 10:30. I had a horrible dream about being at a high-rise hotel and Will falling over the railing - I was at the adjacent building and saw him fall over and down. In my dream I tried to scream but no sound came out.

Lee did not get me up until 7:00 which is way too late to avoid a rushed morning. I got up and first thing asked Michael if he would eat hot lunch today so I wouldn't have to pack his lunch and he said no.

I went down to pack lunches and there was no bread so I had to go out to the garage and get another loaf from the other fridge. I got the lunches packed, ate an egg and a piece of sausage and drank one cup of coffee. I threw on my yoga clothes and put my contacts in, then got Will dressed. Why is it when we have to go somewhere, he goes in his room, shuts the door, and begins entertaining himself like a dream? Why can't he do that after school??

I pulled out of the driveway, but Will was still not buckled, so I sat there and waited and he still didn't buckle so I had to get out and do it for him.

We got in the doors of school at 8:00 on the dot. The kitchen was a mess when I got home, so I cleaned it up, started the laundry, loaded the dishwasher and set it to start after the wash finished, made two beds, fed the hermit crabs, drank another cup of coffee, checked my email, and packaged up something I sold on eBay.

Yesterday I got a used Wiggles dvd that I bought on Amazon. It is not the one I ordered, but instead of sending it back, I'll keep it IF it plays, which I'm not sure about, because it looks a little scratched. Since Will has lost Wiggles and TV privileges through Friday, I put it in to make sure it plays so I can complain to the seller. So I had the Wiggles as my soundtrack this morning.

I got an email from a guy who wants to come buy the mattresses we advertised on Craigslist; he wanted to come at lunch so I sent Lee an email asking him to come home at lunch so that I wouldn't be there alone with some stranger. I was going to yoga at 9:30 so I wanted to be able to tell the guy yes or no before I left. Half an hour went by, no reply. I emailed agian, then finally called. They've got a new phone system, so I can no longer call him directly and no one answered the main number.

Finally, right before I was about to leave, he replied and said he'd come home for lunch.

I got to yoga at 9:27; the instructor didn't show so Cheryl, the YogaKids instructor who usually takes the hot classes taught the class with minimal instruction. All things considered, it was a pretty decent class. The high point of my day was pushing up into a great backbend after the closing savasana. I got up good and high, scooted my feet so they weren't so far splayed out, and stayed there for six breaths.

Because we got started late, I didn't leave the studio until 11:20 and the mattress guy said he wanted to come between 12-1 so I rushed home. I wanted to practice my surya namaskars, which I did - my arms seemed stronger today and my chatarangas were easier. I was also able to jump back and up, though I just have to DO IT and not think about it, otherwise it doesn't happen.

I rushed through my shower, and Lee got home for lunch and grumbled that there was nothing to eat. I said "did you get your paycheck?" and he said "Oh. I forgot to ask for it." Then he said he had a meeting at 1:30 he was going to right from lunch, which meant there was no hope of getting it in the bank before 2:00. Which means that the $10 that is in there right now is what we have until Friday morning.

So he sat there and ate his lunch and did the crossword puzzle while I unloaded the dishwasher and put everything away and started dinner (veggie sloppy joes in the crockpot).

Lee was getting ready to leave at 1:15 and the mattress guy hadn't come so I called him. He said "oh, I had a meeting at 11:30 so I couldn't come."

I went to Big Lots to buy myself a damn alarm clock so I don't have to depend on Lee to get me up on time in the morning, but they didn't have any. I wanted to stop and get a cup of coffee on the way to get Will but I didn't have time.

We were going to stay on the Oakhurst playground until 3:30, but Will whacked another kid with a stick so I made him apologize and then said we had to leave. He, of course, threw a fit as if he wasn't the cause of it all.

He also rolled around in the grass and was absolutely covered in dried grass clippings, which if they are not still stuck to him are in my car and in his room.

Lee called and said he had gotten his paycheck, so we went by his office to get it, Will sobbing all the while and asking if he could watch the Wiggles when we got home. I reminded him that he could not unti Friday, which started another fit.

I got the paycheck deposited without incident, but when I got home I realized that I forgot about the package I was supposed to have mailed today.

When I came in and checked my email, my desktop weather informed me that there is a fucking winter storm warning for tomorrow. Which likely means school will be closed.

I checked on my veggie sloppy joes and I'm not sure they will be done on time. I doubled the recipe and it's cooking really slowly even though I've had it on high.

Will asked me for about ten different things he knew I wasn't going to fix him for snack, and whined after I said no to each one.

I have been shouting at them both and I hate myself for it.

Goddess, I hope the guy shows up tonight to buy the damn mattresses, I hope that school is NOT closed, and I hope tomorrow is a better day.

Frazzled.

I just prepared an agenda for tonight's meeting, and as I put items on the agenda it prompted me to send emails to find out the status of certain projects, and for a while there I had about seven windows open as I looked at the online calendar, responded to emails, created the agenda, etc. We have a lot to cover tonight so everyone better be on time.

All of us had a rough night last night so we are all tired and cranky - Will cried out several times acting like he didn't feel good so Lee and I were up half the night - Michael woke up this morning complaining of being very tired & having a stomachache, so I didn't take him to school until 8:40, after he said he felt better. He's at yogakids right now, and Lee is going to pick him up for me.

Since we got a late start this morning, I didn't go to the hot 90 but did part of the primary series at home to my DVD. I hadn't had any breakfast and it was 9:00, and I was tired, so I didn't feel as energized as I did yesterday, but I did okay. I fell out of Uttita Hasta B on the left side. Also, when David Swenson started doing vinyasas between sides I skipped that and did them only between poses. I got as far as Marichy C, where I could only bind on one side. Couldn't bind in D. Navasana pretty much finished me off so I stopped there. My arms are still pretty fatigued from the sun sals and vinyasas. How long is it going to take for me to get enough arm strength to make it through successfully?

I looked all over for bean bag chairs today - JCPenney (god how long has it been since I've set foot in that store? Years!), Sears, Toys R Us. No bean bag chairs to be found. I did find a couple things for Michael in the Lands' End department at Sears, on the clearance rack. I bought him some corduroy cargo pants - this morning I noticed that his newest and nicest pair of jeans has a hole in one knee.

When I got home I went ahead and ordered the very nice but expensive bean bag chair from Lands End. Considering what other places are asking for crappy bean bag chairs, paying less would be false economy.

Ashtanga Foundations, session 2

It's freaking cold! It was pleasantly warm at onlyoga, though, because John had a couple of space heaters going. Half the women that came last week did not come back, but there were six other folks there, obviously having done some ashtanga but not tons. One of them had a super loud ujjayi breath going.

We started with chanting and sun salutations (and as I thought I remembered, John does not have us chataranga in between up and down dog like David Swenson), then moved to the standing series - padangustasana and padahastasana, both of which I felt very capable of thanks to bikram. Then to trikonasana and paravritta trikonasana. Paravritta trikonasana I can get twisted into, but balancing is difficult. Really engaging my legs and pretending I am trying to stretch my mat with my feet helps. John came and pulled gently on my extended arm at one point. Uthitta parsvakonasana I also felt prepared for because of bikram's trikonasana, except we did it with our forearm on our quads. Revolved side angle we did with our hands in prayer - I love spinal twists so I cranked way around to each side. Ahhhh. Then prasarita padottanasanas - again, poses that felt familiar because of bikram though I wonder how long it will take for me to get my clasped hands to the floor in C.

Parsvottanasana is very similar to bikram's dandayamana bibhaktipada janushirasana except that instead of having the arms extended and hands in prayer, hands are in prayer behind the back. The bikram version is one I have worked very hard on, especially in getting my hips level and balancing with my hands in prayer, so during the five breaths I was able to squash my nose on my shin. Engaging the bandhas really allowed me to feel like my chest was actually sliding down my leg as I lengthened.

Utthita hasta - he sort of went into it assuming we would not be able to do it, so we just played around with it. Once again, this is not unlike bikram's dandayamana janushirasana, except in bikram we clasp the foot with both hands. He had us assume the first part of the pose as we could do it, then hold for ten breaths. My standing leg was screaming! Then we switched. We did not do b, c or d.

Ardha baddha padma uttanasana - once again, we just played around with opening up the hips and getting the foot up high. That is exactly bikram's tree pose, so hiking my foot up to hip is easy. However, I can't bind with my right arm - can get my arm to my foot, but not enough to grab it. I can bind more easily with my left. John pulls his leg clear up to his stomach.

He talked briefly about headstands - something that scares me. He had us place our arms in position as if we were going to headstand, look forward at our hands, extend our legs as in down dog, then we held for ten breaths. We jumped through to sitting, then went to the floor to work on a few closing sequence postures - John says that next week we will cover sitting and , and then hopefully do a full practice on the last day. We did modified setu bandasana, then salamba sarvangasana, halasana and karna pidasana.

Then savasana, which was one of the most relaxed savasanas I've ever had. Then closing chant and time to go.

Today Lee and I removed the lower full bed from Michael's twin-over-full bunk beds. The lower bed took up so much room and we were so tired of working around it....plus, what little floor space was left was always covered in legos, and we were constantly fishing legos out from under the bed.

The lower bed was not attached to the frame of the upper, so it was easy to pull it out and dis-assemble it. The frame is stored in the rafters of the garage and the mattress and boxspring are leaning against the dining room wall, waiting to sell on craigslist.

It's positively luxurious to have so much space now. Michael has plenty of room to spread out and I don't have to squeeze around the edge of the bed anymore. We went to Target today to get a bean bag chair to put under the loft, but they don't have them. Humph. I may have to break down and order the very nice but very expensive Lands' End beanbag chair if I can't find a decent one that doesn't have a sports team or Dora the Explorer theme.

The next two days are going to be busy - tomorrow morning is hot yoga, then kids yoga after school, then a PTA board meeting. Tuesday is the 05 News winners trip to CNN center to tour the studio, which I am chaperoning, then I have to be at the central offices to set up for the 05 News awards dinner at 5:30.

I like avocado, but it doesn't like me.

Isn't that from some 70's era commercial?

I ate an avocado with my lunch and not long afterward it sat like a ton of bricks in my stomach. Fortunately, that doesn't happen with guacamole but I just can't eat avocado straight out of the skin anymore.

Went to vinyasa this morning - definitely not vinyasa FLOW. This was a random assortment of postures and stretches with lots of emphasis on alignment. We did a couple of postures where I was pleasantly suprised to see how strong my core has gotten from Bikram yoga.

Yesterday morning I did the hot 90 and successfully pushed up into a backbend afterward, though my feet are still turned out.

Wednesday morning I was going to a Tupperware party, of all things, at Beth's, so I did the first 45 minutes of my David Swenson DVD with special emphasis on the sun sals. I think, but I am not sure, that John taught them differently than David does them on the DVD. David does them where in between down dog and up dog he comes back down into chatarunga....I think John taught us to go directly into up dog from down, without the chatarunga. I am going to stand in the back of the class on Sunday and see what everyone else does.

We have a quiet weekend planned.....tonight I'm making bbq'd salmon - hopefully it's not too cold for Lee to cook them on the grill - smashed cauliflower with pepper jack cheese, and sauteed spinach.

So I went into REI today to try to find some yoga capris....

and I came out with no yoga capris but instead a cute Prana tie-dyed skirt from the clearance rack.

I really wanted some capris, but I am having a heck of a time finding any that are not too cottony (too stretch), too thick and bulky (like they were made for outdoor wear) or long pants.

I have several pairs of comfy, flattering yoga shorts which is all I wear for hot classes, but that doesn't seem to be the the thing to wear at the Ashtanga studio.

REI usually carries prana yoga wear, but they had very little today; only a few tops and some fleecy-feeling pants.

I guess I am going to have to break down and buy some online.

I walked Michael in this morning so I could check the PTA box and drop off a batch of muffins to his teacher for snack. She said "Michael was the light of my life yesterday!" She said most of the kids were badly behaved yesterday, with the exception of Michael and one or two others. She said he really made her day easier. I felt very proud of him, but not suprised - that's the kind of good kid he is at school.

I did the hot 90 this morning - good class - except I have a headache. I need to drink a bunch of water.

Will's pre-K evaluation was yesterday - all is fine except that his teacher wants one of the speech therapists to come have a conversation with him, to see if he needs any speech therapy. She also says his fine and gross motor skills need some work, but he's not really "delayed". We think the gross motor thing is really the fact that he is so big, his head is so big, and he's still growing into them.

Off to get the munchkins from school.

"I never regretted having practiced....

but when I did not practice, I regretted not having done so." So says David Swenson (I think I am paraphrasing).

This morning I woke up groggy and tired, again due to Will climbing in bed at 4:15 and waking me up. I had to move to his bed shortly thereafter, because he was crowding me, but it took me a while to fall back asleep and waking up was like swimming up from the bottom of the ocean.

I seriously debated blowing off the hot 90 this morning, something I never do because I love going. I was so tired, though, that I thought I might feel better if I didn't go. My arms still felt pretty fatigued from yesterday, and I felt stiff all over. I went anyway...and as I have experienced before, I had a great practice. I still felt foggy throughout which actually helped because I didn't have monkey-mind. I felt pretty bendy and had good stamina and balance. I sweated a ton and just got in a groove with ujjayi breathing and focusing on Jenny's dialogue.

During the final savasana, I pushed up into a backbend. My arms didn't want to support me, so I didn't stay long, but when I was up I was able to see myself in the mirror and my feet were turned out to 45 degrees. I guess I am just going to have to build up more strength.

I did a couple of half-hearted sun salutations when I got home, but I zoned out during Surya B and forgot what I was doing...ha! I couldn't remember which foot I had lunged with first then I just blanked. I had to go look at the book to remember what to do.

I wanted to make myself a bunless burger for lunch, but I was too tired to even do that so I ate some leftover pasta. I did have a salad with it, though. Then just a few minutes ago I ate a bunch of organic m & m's. I now feel the most alert I have all day - though I think it's just the "omigod, I can't believe I just ate that" shock factor.

Hopefully I will feel less foggy tomorrow. No practice - I have a 7:45 meeting at school for the news show celebration, then a haircut at 10:45, I need to go to Michael's and to Lenscrafters, then Will's progress conference is at 2:00.

Holy cow, my arms.

Today was the first session of the Ashtanga foundations workshop. We talked about the eight limbs, locks, drishti, and breath, then we started on Surya Namaskars. There were eight of us there - one in teacher training, and one who was not currently practicing yoga, but the rest of us were doing yoga of one kind or another, and several currently practice with John, the teacher.

Doing Surya Namaskar slowly, as we went through it one step at a time, was a killer. Also holding down dog for waaaaay more than five breaths as he worked with someone. We must have done about twenty each of A & B, plus the ones where we went through one step at a time. I'm sure for an advanced practitioner, that's no biggie, but I am seriously lacking in upper body strength. The woman who was not currently practicing yoga was really struggling and had to stop. I didn't feel winded too much, just not strong enough in the arms.

I couldn't believe how quickly two hours went....before I knew it it was five o'clock and it was time for savasana.

Our homework is to practice Surya Namaskars at least twice. Tomorrow I am going to a hot 90, then Tuesday morning I will do a short practice at home. I'd go to the Vinyasa class that morning, but I am getting my hair cut at 10:45.

We just watched "Crash".

WOW. It was intense, and I was tense throughout the whole movie. I think I need to wait a few weeks and watch it again.

Michael started his rock climbing class today, and I think he really liked it. It goes alternating Saturdays through the end of March. I like that he's learning something cool and individual like that instead of running with the herd on the soccer field (which is probably what Will is going to be doing come spring).

We went to the First Lego Championship at Ga. Tech today...that was a little bit of a letdown because it was extremely crowded, hot and noisy and we couldn't see much. We mostly hung out at the "pit tables" where the robot teams "warmed up" before going into the competition room. We saw some bots and looked at the project displays that each team did, but it was hard to see much, it was so crowded. Will was restless and we left after about a hour. We went up to Atlantic Station, where we had never been before, to eat at California Pizza Kitchen where we knew it would be kid friendly. This area is near the Ikea but I had never seen it before. Really, it's a totally manufactured "village" surrounded by pricey condos and filled with the usual retail establishments like Victoria's Secret, Ann Taylor, etcetera. Cirque du Soleil is also there right now and traffic was heavy.

We went to Atlantic Station via Peachtree St. so I could find onlyoga....that whole area of Midtown had totally changed and is quite upscale now. I feel a little intimidated, which is stupid. I just keep wondering if I'm the only forty-something frumpy mom to cross the threshhold of that studio. I keep chanting to myself "who gives a shit" but I know I will have a hard time overcoming the feeling that I don't belong there.

Is there ever a day....

when I DON'T have to go to the grocery store? I think not.

I did an abbreviated practice this morning - I'm still a little sore from two days ago, and I laid awake from 4:50 (when Will crawled in bed with us) to after 6:00 (which is when Lee's turned his alarm off and went back to sleep) finally dozing off and falling into a thirty-minute coma.

Michael and I got caught by the train, so I screeched to a halt in front of school and told him to hurry in and maybe he wouldn't have to get a tardy slip. Then still in rush mode I hurried home, made the beds, checked on the hermit crabs, loaded the washing machine and the dishwasher, checked my email, then unrolled my mat and started the DVD. I felt like an old lady during the Surya Namaskars (and I had to stop and chase the cat out of the house in the middle of Surya B). I knew I didn't have time for the whole series, so I stopped at the half bound lotus paschimottanasana, then went to the finishing series. I did three backbends...the first one, I could barely get up....the second one, got up more easily but could not lower myself and I actually just fell out of it onto my back....not to be defeated, I did a third, focusing on really using my quads and I got up and down with more ease. I know my feet are splayed out, though. Coming into backbends is, mentally, a lot like the third part of awkward in Bikram, when we are kneeling, balancing on the balls of our feet, and we have to slowly come up....that challenge is as much mental as physical for me, because I know I can't come out of it without either giving myself a bounce, or without leaning forward to get myself up. I know that hard part is coming, and the dread is the worst part.

Anyway, I did shoulderstand and plow as well....Swenson kept talking about keeping the neck lifted and I'm like, what the hell, how does one keep the neck lifted in this pose? I craned my neck to see the TV and sure enough, he is on his shoulders with his head raised off the floor. Maybe in a million years I will be able to achieve that. I must be doing something wrong, because after shoulderstand the other day those bones at the top of my back, just below my neck were bruised feeling. I must be either too far up or not far enough. I did the next couple poses through matsyasana then turned off the DVD.

I still feel excited about the workshop starting this weekend, but kind of nervous too, like I am going to have to face my fears about backbending and inversions and I really don't wanna.

Little bit sore today.

But pleasantly so. My hamstrings are a little sore, and my upper arms, shoulders, chest and upper back a little more so. Taking my jacket off is a little difficult, but it's not one of those crippling sorenesses. It feels good. I got an adjustment today....I hadn't had one since late August. I was beginning to feel a little bit wonky in my lower back and my neck.

I registered for the yoga workshop....now just praying that it doesn't get cancelled or anything, since the sign up info said "minimum 8". I am so excited.

I'm going to try to do a little bit of the series tomorrow....I might look at the "short form" series and do that....or just do the sun sals, then the series up until the vinyasa are added. I need to go to the Farmer's Market tomorrow, and to the Book Nook, and I have GOT to get cracking on my eBay stuff ......both stuff to list and the way, way behind spreadsheet entries. I had good intentions of knocking it all out, but here it is January 16 and I have not even started up the spreadsheet program.

Primary series, first day

I was very excited this morning....had a tortilla w/cheese & turkey sausage, coffee this morning...took Will to school...went to Oakhurst to drop some stuff off and to watch Michael on the 05 News...he's come a long way since last year and is much more poised and comfortable...then I came home and did a few things around the house...laundry, tidying. I also carried through on my threat to pack up a bunch of Michael's legos for the consignment sale if he did not sort and put them away. I nearly filled a gallon ziplock and a quart ziplock bag, though I kept waffling...putting some back, then taking some back, thinking "this is a lot of legos I'm taking" and then thinking "if I don't show him I mean it, he'll never change". I still have a lot bagged up, but not as many as I started out with.

Then I unrolled my mat and started the DVD. I went through the intro section on Surya Namaskar A&B and the vinyasas, then started the series. Surya Namaskars were fine, though they feel choppy, especially when transitioning between up and down dog. I can jump my feet up without much problem. I'm sure they will start flowing as I learn them AND as I develop more upper body strength. The series...standing sequence was fine....utthita hasta padangustasana a&b was the first pose I found really difficult....I can straighten my leg but not without pulling my arm forward which brings my shoulders out of line. D was impossible to do with my leg straight.

Continuing on, adding vinyasas...I used the option where, from a cross legged position I put my hands in front of me on the floor and walked my legs back, then into down dog and so on, jumping my legs back up for the next posture. Went through fine until Marichyasana D...could not bind. Then struggled with Navasana (kept my legs bent), bhujapidasana (could not lift anything but my bottom), kurmasana (cannot get close to the floor - got about halfway), supta kurmasana (ditto), then garbha pindasana (can get into lotus and raise legs, but only clasp hands around legs). Kukkatasana....couldn't do. Baddha K a&b...fine. Upavishta A.....got halfway. B...couldn't balance on sit bones. Supta Konasana...fine. Supta Pada A, B, C.....could stretch partway. Ubhaya Pada....had to bend my legs and struggled to balance. Urdva Mukha....same. Setu bandasana...kept my hands under my hips for support.

Then finishing sequence...did two of the three backbends... paschimottanasana with hands clasping feet....shoulderstand & plow, no problem...karapidasana, halfway; urdva padmasana, fine....pindasana, halfway. Matsyasana, fine....then I pretty much stopped when I couldn't do uttana padasana. Headstands were next, which I didn't do....I tried the arm position but I know my arms were rolling out way too much and I didn't know exactly how much weight was supposed to be in my hands. I practiced raising my hips and shifting my weight into my arms and head while keeping my feet on the floor and I did feel like with support, I could go into a headstand. I did baddha padmasana, reaching only one foot though...tolasana, couldn't do. Then I skipped the final savasana because it was 11:30 already and I had to pee and I was starving.

After all those vinyasas my arms were seriously noodly. I really feel it in my wrists and in that muscle on the chest side of my underarms. I am going to be sore tomorrow!

RE: locks....I have a long way to go with those. Breath....since it is very much like Bikram (with more of an emphasis on breathing through the throat than solely through the nose) that was not a struggle. I tended to lose the breath during vinyasas, though.

But guess what....I found a four week (every Sunday from 3-5) intro to Primary workshop at onlyoga and I'm going to register for it! This is the schedule:

Session 1 The 8 Limbs and Sun Salutations - 1/21
Session 2 The Standing Sequence - 1/28
Session 3 The Seated Sequence - 2/4
Session 4 Putting It All Together & Closing - 2/11

I can hardly wait!!! This way, I will be able to continue my home practice with more confidence that I know what I am doing. And traveling a half hour to yoga is much more doable on the weekends. I assured Lee that the workshop would be my yoga for the weekend...I won't go do a hot class on Saturday morning like I usually do (unless for some reason he and the boys go out of town).

Got to go put Lee's check in the bank...then run by the grocery store....then go get Will...all the while counting the minutes until that yoga workshop.

Tomorrow!

Tomorrow I get to do the David Swenson primary series DVD. I watched the intro and the discussion of Surya Namaskar A&B, plus vinyasas, today while I ate my lunch. Tomorrow I am going to start at the beginning of the series and see how far I can go. And see if I can manage to focus on my breath for any length of time.

Did the hot 90 this morning....struggled a little bit but my dhanurasana, standing bow pulling, was the best it's ever been. I wonder if I have low blood pressure....I have before....and if that has anything to do with the frequent, dizzying head rushes I get during class.

Parent-child yoga workshop.

Michael and I went to this today - it was taught by Cheryl, who teaches the Yoga Kids classes and also Vinyasa classes. It ROCKED. Lots of fun with an appropriate amount of spirituality and reverence balanced with silliness. We did some good stretching and worked through some poses, both alone and with our partner/child. We used the iyengar ropes on the walls and all the kids were fearless, holding the ropes and walking their feet up the walls until they were upside down. I couldn't do it, though. I did backbend off the wall holding the ropes, but the inversion on the ropes was too much. Michael and I did handstands off the walls. Wow, would that ever develop some upper body strength! I am going to try to do some of that every day - though there isn't much wall space here without a picture on it. I also felt kind of proud of myself for doing that, since inversions is (are?) the things that keep me from trying the iyengar classes.

"Fig Preserve Snack Cake"

I got a wild hair and baked a pan of the above this afternoon - YUM. Good snack cake and the fig preserves make it very moist and almost caramelized.

Bikram yesterday and today - both good classes. I had kind of a breakthrough in floor bow, dhanurasana, today - I achieved the teardrop shape. If I focus on really kicking with my legs and letting go with my shoulders, I can get up there instead of struggling. Although yesterday in floor bow James pulled on my legs to rock me back onto my pubic bone and it HURT.

Got my David Swenson book and DVD today. I've flipped through the book and it looks kind of intimidating. I'm trying to look at it not as a goal that will take ages to achieve, but as a journey with tons to learn along the way. Starting with Sun Salutations A & B.......

What's for breakfast?

By bedtime each night, I'm looking forward to the next day and my coffee and breakfast. Except that tomorrow I'm going to an 8:30 yoga class so I will not eat breakfast before I go. I got up and walked this morning - man, was it cold.

Went to Sevananda today and went a little crazy with the bulk bins. I bought a bunch of different nuts, peanut butter pretzels for the boys (though Will refused to touch them), whole wheat pastry flour, chicken bouillion powder. I also bought some plain roasted pumpkin seeds and what I swear were labeled "tamari pumpkin seeds" but in the car on the way to Dick's Sporting Goods I put a handful of them in my mouth - HOT!! I sucked down my water and then didn't have any left. HOT!! Sprinkled on my salad tonight, they weren't so painfully hot.

I didn't have any luck at Dick's - I was looking for some yoga shorts with not too high a rise or too long an inseam. Dick's is seriously low on yoga wear. I tried on several things but none worked. I went over to Phipps Plaza intending to buy myself a pair of Dansko closed back clogs in brown, but they didn't have my size. I went down to Nike Town and found the yoga shorts of my dreams. I only bought one pair, because I thought they were a little pricey and I hope to find some online for less. But they are exactly what I wanted.

I'm still waiting on my yoga dvd and book, but I got out one of my other yoga books today and taught myself how to do a sun salutation. I also think I am going to sign myself and Michael up for the parent/child yoga workshop on Saturday afternoon.

I am sloooowwwwllly learning that when I am feeling frazzled, impatient, stressed, overwhelmed etc. if I bring my awareness to RIGHT THEN, I feel much better. Even if my awareness is there only for a second. It's like a magic button that pauses all the things that are stressing me out.

Wine hangover.

Not very yogic of me, is it? That's what happens when I don't eat much and I drink a little too much wine (last night it was at the Lyle's Twelfth Night party). It happens often enough...you'd think I'd have learned by now.

So today I have felt pretty rough, and very tired....this morning I was laying in bed with the covers up to my eyes, listening to Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire, which Michael had on in his room....when I heard the part about Harry, Ron & Hermione going to Herbology and squeezing out bubotuber pus, I really thought I was going to vomit.

Tonight we are having veggie tortilla casserole...looking forward to burying my face in a big plateful of warm, cheesy, beany glop.

What I ate today (I'm feeling gross and overly carbed):
two pieces turkey sausage
two cups coffee w/half & half
one Diet Coke in the small can
one piece whole wheat toast with Earth Balance and natural peanut butter
handful of pretzel/cheddar sandwich crackers
low carb tortilla w/chicken and laughing cow light cheese
small handful organic m&m's
two helpings tortilla casserole with a salad of romaine & blue cheese dressing
one bite of canteloupe
water.

Darn those pretzel and cheddar crackers.

I'm excited about expanding my yoga practice...

I debated over whether to order the David Swenson "Short Forms" DVD or the Primary Series DVD....after looking over the whole primary series on a website I found, I decided to go ahead and get the primary series DVD. I also ordered the book that goes with it. I am looking forward to starting an ashtanga practice at home!

In related news, I did some stretching today and bent farther back in the second part of half-moon, more than I ever have before. Also, I pushed up into a backbend today....the last time I tried to do that, a couple months ago, I did not have the upper body strength. I swear, I love backbending. I am addicted to the rush I get when I come out of the pose.

I have some split pea soup simmering in the crockpot.....I used the ham stock I made last week. It smells wonderful, very earthy and garlicky.

Hot dog.

Or hot veggie burger, I should say. I am eating a Boca "all American" veggie burger and it is the bomb. And it only has four grams of useable carb. I'm having my second one, no bun, with a blob of bleu cheese dressing with it.

I have had way too many refined carbs today. First, Suzanne brought me some belated Christmas goodies, one of which was some cashew brittle.....omg. I am not usually a huge fan of brittle, but this was excellent, not overly sweet or hard on the teeth. I made a pig of myself with it.

Then when I took the boys to the playground this afternoon, I brought along some of the wheat germ PB cookies I made yesterday. There is no white flour in them, but still. I ate three this afternoon because I was really hungry.

Then at Beth's I ate a small, but very rich and sweet, piece of fudge.

I did make it to a hot 90 tonight, a class filled with New Year's resolutioners. (Is that a word?) Me and one other guy were by far the most advanced practitioners. I just wanted to shout at them all "Don't be overwhelmed by the heat or the poses! Just stick with it and it'll be so worth it, I promise!"

I am going to buy myself a David Swenson "Short Forms" ashtanga video for a home practice, since I won't be able to do the intro to ashtanga series at DHY and it doesn't look like there'll be any chance of me getting to either of the ashtanga studios any time within the next few years.

I'm putting the rest of the cashew brittle out of its misery. Yum.

Happy New Year!

Today is a much better day. For one thing, it was already sunny when we woke up and pleasantly warm throughout the day, though it has steadily gotten colder in the last few hours.

Also, I made it to a hot class this morning. The boys woke up cheerful and I fed them breakfast, had some coffee and a string cheese, and went to my class at ten. It was PACKED - don't know if I've ever been to such a crowded class before. Debbie started off with kind of a New Years, set your practice, be kind to yourself and be mindful pep talk, then did about 45 minutes of non Bikram poses, most of which I had done in a Vinyasa class previously. We did a bunch of down dogs, some stretches, boat pose, and a few others. Then James took over and did an abbreviated Bikram series, one of each pose. Boy, was I sweating by the time he started. The funny thing I am noticing is, when I am having a day where I struggle, I struggle most in between poses and not so much during. For example, I felt dizzy and nauseous between standing head to knee and standing bow pulling, but not at all during the poses. Wierd! People around me were dropping like flies and I wanted to sit down, but I knew if I could get through the stillness between poses, I would be fine.

In between standing and floor series Debbie read something about yoga, how many of the branches have adherents that claim their branch of yoga is the only way, but what she read traced all the branches back to Patanjali's Yoga Sutra, and she read a little about that work. It was about five minutes - fascinating.

I sweated so much that I looked like someone had turned the hose on me. I was so dehydrated after the class that before I even got home my mouth was totally dry. I also felt very wiped out. The class went about an hour and 55 minutes - no wonder. After I ate and drank a bunch of water and took a shower, I had tons of energy. I went to blockbuster and Publix, then came home, undecorated the tree and the house, pulled a bunch of boxes from the attic, and organized what was left. Some stuff I retrieved is already in the back of my car to go to Sally Ann's....boxes of other stuff are stacked in my room for me to go through and either box back up for consignment, use, or donate. I also vacuumed downstairs and put the furniture back where it belongs.

Those crocs that I bought myself less than a week ago - how did I ever live without them? They are so comfortable, it's like not wearing shoes. I leave them by the back door and step in and out of them all day. I love them! I might have to get myself another pair in a different color.

Tonight we are having the traditional black eyed peas, rice, chowchow, sauteed spinach and whole wheat rolls (no cornbread, because I always wind up throwing away the leftovers). Then Lee & Will are going to watch Goblet of Fire and Michael and I are going to snuggle on the sofa by the fire & watch The Sound of Music - Michael's never seen it and I can't wait to watch it with him.